I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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