so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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