The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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