If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
she smelled like a LAN party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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