hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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