went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize