I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
