And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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