Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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