She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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