def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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