Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
