i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
