i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
