3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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