I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
