worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
