what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
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