she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
