i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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