I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
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He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
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Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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