She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
