fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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