Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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