You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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