Me too!
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
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so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
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Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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