At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
someone owes me an orgasm
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
