Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
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The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
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I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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