She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize