Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
