So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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