Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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