Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
