Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
