Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
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