Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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