would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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