That's intense
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
