They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
