I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
