DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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