Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
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