So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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