so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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