I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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