never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
