he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
