when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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