Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
