My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
