wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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