if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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