yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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