so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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