you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
