I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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