Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
